Day 123: 112 Hours

On February 19^th, I wrote my final blog… and never published it.

It felt wrong. I felt like an infomercial or a cheesy car salesman trying to convince the world that they needed to do something.

--

Here is an excerpt from what I wrote:

“When we began this challenge, we thought Day 30 would bring a sense of clarity and we would feel a certain way; however, it’s hard to say how we feel because we can’t seem to find the words for it. We’ve never felt this way before.

I think we have this crazy idea that we won’t be the same person when we stop hiding behind our make up… and, 30 days later, you won’t. That person you’ve created with the insecurities and the incessant need to look perfect will vanish. And, in its place, you’ll find loud moments of spontaneity. You’ll find a friend that someone needed."

--

Sounds like a lot of pretty words, doesn’t it? If I were a scientist, I would say that I was lacking hard evidence. And I was. So here it is: what the Audrey Hepburn Challenge really was.

We’ll be the first to admit it: what we did during those 30 days was not revolutionary. In fact, it was quite simple. We went without makeup and let the social experiment fall as it may. We challenged a social norm and broke up with our insecurities.

Day 1 was empowering. I felt strong. 

I wish I could say the entire 30 days was that easy. It wasn’t.

Breaking down 10 years of dependency on products with magazine covers for comparison really does damage to your self-perception. If you think it doesn’t, please bear with me as I give you the evidence.

I used to spend approximately 20 minutes per day putting on my make-up. That’s 140 minutes per week, 560 minutes per month, and 6,720 minutes per year. Putting that into perspective, that’s 112 hours per year spent on make-up. I can’t tell you the last time I spent 112 hours on anything and it didn’t change my perspective. And we’ve all seen the facts and figures for the amount of time we are exposed to magazines, internet, cell-phones, and TV – just to add on to the amount of time we are faced with images that skew our perceptions.

I had a heart-breaking number of people tell me they wish they could do the 30-day challenge… but they had a conference next week, or a date tomorrow, or (to my horror) they just weren’t blessed with natural beauty.

I don’t know who or what made you believe that you and your just-got-out-of-the-shower-and-haven’t-done-my-makeup-yet wasn’t something to celebrate. You in your rare form that is drenched with everything human should be a daily affirmation in itself. In that form, you have no excuses for why you are beautiful. You didn't try a new mascara, you didn't use a different shade of eyeshadow, and you didn't remember to put on lip gloss. You just are. No excuses at all.

I was lucky enough to find a way to “take back the mirror.” My 20 minutes is now down to 2. The 30-day challenge reshaped the way I view people -- especially myself -- but maybe something else will work for you. Whatever it is, I hope you find it. If nothing more, I challenge you to take one day to wear no make up out of the house and smile at everyone you can. It sounds silly, but I was still surprised and even more happy when they smiled back. :)

“Today we commit to loving our blemishes, our veins, and our shadows. We are real. We are painstakingly original, and that must be the most beautiful thing about us.”

We are what we make of ourselves

When I discovered this video I was touched by not only the cultural context but by the underlying meaning. Beauty is created by our actions. A warm heart and generous soul make for a more influential and moving person than a decorated face.

My hope is that this message hits home for the reasons that 1) you have the power to prove you are beautiful but also 2) because I believe that the discarding of baby girls in many cultures is a daily occurrence and should be a more talked about issue.

A Cover Model Makeover Isn't All It's Cracked Up To Be

This video is awesome. Check it out. Here are my favorite lines from it. 

“Once someone else has done your makeup, and someone else has done your hair, and someone else has directed the way your body looks, and then taken away your imperfections; then there’s not much left of who you really are.”

“I think we live in a really interesting time where we feel like we have to make people look to this standard that isn’t attainable for anybody.”

“Instead of looking at other things and trying to aspire to be something else, we should just be comfortable in who we are and try to be our best selves.”

“I think something that everyone should keep in mind is that it’s natural to be critical of yourself. It’s natural to be uncomfortable or awkward, but you just have to know that the ideal just doesn’t exist.”

Day 26

Happiness is just a lot more beautiful.

Day 25

When I was in high school, it would take me two hours to get ready for a dance.

This was the product of 20 minutes.

Was my night still wonderful and fun and everything it should have been? Yes.

So, yeah, it's been tested: you won't remember the flawless make up you were or were not wearing on the nights that are truly more about friendship and laughing and dancing and being free. I promise.

Day 24

This happiness has never felt more real.

Why Audrey Hepburn?

Audrey Hepburn.

Over the past few weeks, we've been asked multiple times why Audrey Hepburn was chosen as the source of inspiration for this challenge. 

Our answer to this has been quite simple: Audrey Hepburn represents a movement of self-empowerment. She is quite decidedly her own. She is smart, poised, and -- in a word -- fabulous.

So that's the cliche answer. 

But the reason why Audrey Hepburn is the perfect depiction of self-worth goes a lot deeper than that.

Audrey Hepburn was born in Belgium and, due to her parents' occupations, grew up under the harsh conditions set by the Holocaust; however, Audrey was a fighter. When little girls dreamed of becoming ballerinas for the twirling and soft lights, Miss Hepburn joined the ballet to raise money for the "Dutch Resistance."

And her life was not easy. During WWII, she was so malnourished that eating anything of substance was a foreign concept. Her body was the type of broken that makes our hearts ache... but, instead of letting that experience cripple her, she turned around and dedicated the rest of her life to helping UNICEF -- an organization whose opening line is "Donate to End the Preventable Deaths of Children."

Audrey Hepburn represents something quite beautiful -- and not one part of why she was chosen has anything to do with the way she looks.

"I believe in pink. I believe laughing is the best calorie burner. I believe in being strong when everything seems to be going wrong. I believe that happy girls are the prettiest girls. I believe that tomorrow is another day. And I believe in miracles."

"As you grow older, you will discover that you have two hands: one for helping yourself, the other for helping others."

"People, even more than things, have to be restored, renewed, revived, reclaimed, and redeemed; never throw out anyone."

Beautiful Isn't Necessarily Vain

This video is self explanatory. We usually see others as more beautiful than they see themselves, and others usually see us as more beautiful than we see ourselves. And that needs to change. The end.

...Except not. On the actual website (http://realbeautysketches.dove.us/) that this video comes from, there is a startling figure expressed. It states that only 4% of women around the world consider themselves to be beautiful. I see two problems with this:

1) The obvious: We are critical of ourselves and don't see what really is there. We are self-conscious of what we look like. We compare ourselves to an unrealistic standard. We don't always love ourselves the way we should. And the list goes on.

2) Society seems to tell us that it is wrong to actually consider ourselves beautiful. While we are being bombarded with artificial/superficial ways to live up to a standard of beauty, it is implied that if we were to come out and say "I am beautiful" we must be the person Carly Simon was singing about (if you don't know what I'm talking about, Google is now your best friend). That would be vanity. That would be arrogance. I call bull. There is a difference between having an opinion to the tune of "I am gorgeous and I am the most wonderful person on the planet and everyone should worship the way I look and I am above you because of what my face looks like" versus "I am beautiful because I am fearfully and wonderfully made. I am kind and loving and happy. I love myself for the way I am, but am continuing to grow everyday." That is beauty. It's more than skin deep and I think it is okay to embrace it.

So, the next time someone asks you if you consider yourself beautiful, think about who you are as a whole and give them a proud "Yes. I am beautiful."

"When Do You Feel Most Beautiful?"

I wrote an entirely long blog tonight... until I found this. I don't want to even write anything more because this video deserves your entire attention.

In case they forget to tell you.

To the little girl in this movie I'm watching that is the best kind of innocent, and makes even the child-fearing people want to have kids:

I hope they didn't make you wear blue-tinted contacts, and that those stunning blue eyes of yours are just naturally you.

But if they did, I also hope you know that you're a type of lovely that no make-up could ever achieve. 

And I hope you don't fall into the same trap we have all found ourselves in at one point or another -- the trap when someone tells you how pretty you look in make-up and you unfortunately start to believe it and you just keep wearing more and more of it...

You see, the problem with that is that you, like so many of us, would spend the rest of your life trying to figure out just how much more you can be.

So stop. In case they forget to tell you, you are beautiful.

One Word

When I saw my sister a few weeks ago, I obsessed about her hombre-styled hair. And when I saw my classmate in her killer dress, I couldn't stop gushing about how great it was. And when I sat in the dining room with my sorority sisters before a dance, I kept commenting on how flawless everyone looked. And it's true: the women I surround myself with are stunning.

But it's not the dresses, the heels, or the hairstyles that make them that way.

I have two sisters: both equally powerful and intelligent (a path blazed by my mother). I'm in a sorority where women value "doing good" above everything else. I share my education with sharp-witted ladies who will one day become valuable contributors to the agricultural industry. I'm surrounded by the most beautiful, talented, amazing women every day and yet, when given the choice to comment on the things that actually matter, I fall back on the type of dresses they wear??

Tell me, when was the last time you were ever heart-wrenchingly inspired by someone's looks?

I think I may have gotten something backwards in my life... and the worst part is, because of the way that our society is conditioned, it would sound so uncomfortable to say anything other than: "You look beautiful." 

But why should it be that hard? 

It's one word. One word that stands in the way of an over-used, understated observation becoming an authentic, soul-piercing compliment. Look. 

I don't know about the rest of the world, but I am undeniably convinced that the women in my life deserve compliments more meaningful than the ones that fall in the temporary "looks" category.

The crazy thing is that the solution is so simple. It's a substitution and a declaration. It's transforming that observation about looks into a statement of personal worth. It's simply substituting the word "look" for "are." 

You are beautiful. You are fierce. You are stunning. 

Morning runs

While on my daily run (training for a 1/2 marathon) I hardly noticed I was running. The view that surrounded me was beyond amazing. Half way through I stopped and looked out at the ocean, pasture land, and wetlands that surrounded me and it was then that I realized how it was here in this spot that true beauty lay. There is so much more in this world than personal beauty. My appearance is hardly a thing to spend my time and energy on....here on this land I can do so much and be a part of maintaining the most stunning and natural landscape. This is a place where not only can I run and refresh my mind but this is where a variety of wildlife calls home, birds flock to for nesting, and sheep graze on the greenest grass around. At this moment I became so excited for the future career I plan to build around this haven.

Top 5 Reasons

Happy Sunday. 

I have uncovered the top five reasons to not wear make up. 

1) You feel less guilty about hitting the snooze button 4 or 5 times.

2) You can use the extra cash to buy chocolate.

3) When your friend asks you to go do something, it takes you only 2 seconds to decide and 2 more minutes to find the keys you inevitably lost and then.... you just go. 

4) You no longer wake up with the "zombie-effect" of smudged mascara and eye liner... & speaking of mascara, you can watch The Notebook and not feel bad about crying... & speaking of The Notebook, you can have a heart-stopping movie-like scene in the rain without having to worry about looking like a monster.

5) You find that people will say the most hauntingly beautiful things at the times you need them the most. For example... "They'll think you're beautiful because what makes you beautiful has nothing to do with your looks. What makes you beautiful goes far beyond that, and that doesn't change regardless if you are wearing make up or not."

Jokingly or not, I hope everyone takes the time to find these things out, to make your own list, and to find what's true for you.

Laughter and Happiness

 

There are these mornings where I find myself laughing at myself on the way to class because I'm so damn funny (well, I think I am). I laugh at all my simple bloopers, the embarrassing and ridiculous things I say and do, and more importantly I laugh at how awesome life can be! There has never been a point in my life where I have felt more empowered and happy. And the best part about it all is that its up to me to feel that way, I decide how to be the best me. So here's to laughter!!!  

My best friend sent me this today. Priceless. :)

Everyone needs a cheerleader

After confessing that I was exhausted and had a few blemishes that were coming through (not to mention I was asked if I was hungover today, and I'm not), I received this beauty of a message.... 

"You know what I see? I see a very kind hearted person. I see an amazing friend who is powerful. I see someone who cares and who is beautiful for every reason she thinks she isn't. And most importantly, I see someone who is real. :) chin up, buttercup. Your life is beautiful."

My day significantly improved, needless to say. 

Day 9

Day 9 required a Mentors360 dinner.

I think we all cringed when we put on our business outfits and walked out of the house without so much as lip gloss on; however, there's something powerful about going to a leadership dinner where lipstick & heels are practically required, and we're bare-faced & happy.

It begs the question... which leaves the greatest impression: the person or the make up?

These two are joining me in the journey. 

Jordyn Coon (guest blogger) and Ashley Grucza -- both doing the 30 day challenge and defying everything we ever thought about being strong, professional women.

Four Letter Words

I had the worst day yesterday. One of those days where you'd be lucky if you had just woken up on the wrong side of the bed. And even the struggle bus is late picking you up. And then one person (or three) says the kiss of death: "You look tired." 

And I played into it. 

I put in my headphones, walked in the rain, and listened to "Bad Day" by Daniel Powter.
**cue dramatic movie scene**

I would have owned up to it: my mood was affecting exactly how I saw myself. At one point, I looked in the mirror and noticed the bags under my eyes, the flushed look I was sporting, and the veins that just kept getting darker, and the only word that came to my mind was "ugly." 

Ugly -- the same burning word I would use to describe snakes, rainy days, mean personalities, and horrific football blow-outs -- and I was using it to describe me? Ugly is a word I would never even use to describe another person, so in what universe was it ever okay to say to myself?? Goodness gracious, I should have had someone slap me on the spot. 

Unfortunately, my day yesterday was not that uncommon amongst, well, anyone. We're all guilty of unforgiving thoughts. And I wish I had the answers on how to not ever feel that way, or to combat it when you do. I don't. I am still figuring it out.

But I also feel like that's exactly why I'm doing this challenge. These 30 days aren't just beautiful moments strung together like The Sound of Music -- there are very real days and very real moments. 

The only lesson I can glean from yesterday's experience is that I need to start implementing a version of the Golden Rule: "Do unto myself as I would do unto others."

Day 9 and the day is looking promising. :)

Enough For Me

When Bri invited me to be a part of this 30-day challenge, I have to admit (with chagrin) that my thought process was something along the lines of "This means I can not put on makeup each morning and have a noble sounding excuse for my laziness." I didn't expect it to actually teach me anything. I was wrong. I consider myself to be confident, to be secure in my looks, and most everything else about myself. I have taken enough late night, post-shower trips to froyo, or gone to class without make up (because of the previously mentioned laziness) enough times that I figured a month without makeup would be easy. Again, I was wrong. Because when you go an entire month (so far, one week) without wearing it, you realize what occasions cause you to reach for your mascara and eye shadow. 

One morning last week I woke up knowing I would be meeting a male friend for coffee that day. I was tempted to break my commitment and put on my makeup. The insecure part of me said that he wouldn't think I was pretty enough without it. I reminded myself that I had made a commitment and needed to stick to it, but I wasn't pleased. And then I thought "If he doesn't like my face: my God-given, non-artificially enhanced face, then I don't like him." (Which is a bit childish since this means I'm deciding for myself that he doesn't like my face, when I don't actually know the answer to this question. I think we, as women, often do this). This made me realize that I do have insecurities that I thought I didn't. 

There is a deeper issue that  just wanting to cover up our flaws with makeup. We (at least I do) often put on makeup thinking that if we can just make our faces look "better" that everything else will seem better too. Or maybe everything else won't be noticed because our faces are distracting. There is a nagging feeling in many of our gut that says "I'm not smart enough"..."I'm not funny enough"..."I'm not skinny enough"..."I'm. Not. Enough". And this is a part of ourselves that we need to tell to shut up. Because, who are we saying that we're not enough for? Who are we letting be the standard of what IS enough? And why are we letting those people, those thoughts, make us feel insecure? At the end of the day, we need to be enough for ourselves. 

So, the next time I wake up wanting to put on makeup so that a guy thinks I'm pretty enough, I'm going to look in the mirror and say "I think I'm pretty and that's what matters. I am enough for me" 

Barefaced and Beautiful

When did it start happening for you?

I remember when I was 6 and told my mom that I thought I was fat.
Thanks to my mom, who is one of the most real women I know, that was the first real memory I have of learning about self-worth.

Then I think I was around the age of 10 the first time I begged my mom to let me wear make up. I watched my sisters get ready in the morning and wanted nothing more than to be as beautiful as they were. Oh boy, I would coat the glittery lip gloss and double-layer the shimmer on my eyes every chance I could get. 

I just wasn't pretty enough -- yet -- but with that make up, I could feel bold and beautiful and worthy. 

How wrong is that? 

I watched this video today and was hooked (and horrified) within the first ten seconds. Even if you aren't participating in the Audrey Hepburn thirty-day challenge, take one day this week and participate in the Barefaced and Beautiful campaign. Remind yourself what the lip gloss and shimmer will always be missing out on -- authentic and real beauty.

Not every morning is easy....

Waking up this morning was near impossible....especially after yesterday's 8 mile run, mountain of homework, and fighting possible gluten intolerance. But, somehow after hearing that my roommate was awake (she never beats me out of bed), I peeled my down-comforter off and headed for the shower. I missed my first class -- definitely not sad about that (stats is not my friend.) Even after the rough start I feel great about my day and I'm ready to tackle any challenge that comes my way. My positive attitude often comes from the texts I receive from Briana, like this one from last Friday, "TGIF. You're Beautiful :)" can't beat a confidence boost like that!

Selfies & Snapchat

Snapchat may have started a beautiful revolution. 

Seven words I never imagined saying. 

Between the awkward faces, the funny #livesnaps, and the classic selfies, I think Snapchat unknowingly started something kind of awesome. They started a trend that says loving your awkward, adorable, crazy self might just be... dare I say it.... okay.

I used to hate selfies with the best of them. I thought taking a picture of yourself looking gorgeous was some sort of cry for the self-centered... But then someone said to me, "What's so wrong with selfies? What's so wrong with wanting to feel beautiful about yourself?" 

How right they were.

May selfies start being a revolution of empowerment for women to love. their. bodies. Let's smile and laugh and take silly photos and be happy. Cheers to loving our beautiful selves.

Cue this video:  http://unlooker.com/selfie/

Day 4

Day 5.

The funny thing about not wearing make up is that no one even notices but you... and, after a while, even you start to forget. :)

That Tube of Lipstick

I read a story once where a little girl – maybe around 5 or 6 -- asked her mom if she could borrow lipstick “so [she] could be pretty, too.”

And my heart broke. 

Let’s just add this story to the list of reasons why I have to finish this 30-day challenge.

To be honest, I don’t know what the end of this challenge looks like. I don’t know how I will feel or what I will find to be true. All I know is that I need to be certain that my make up will not box me into my comfort zone. I need to know that I’m not using it to be “pretty” again. I need to root myself into these values so I can teach my one-day daughter that beauty is not found in a tube of lipstick. 

--

May my daughter feel most free in her pink tutu and bare feet.

  

May my daughter feel strongest with the dirt underneath her fingernails.

May my daughter feel most gorgeous when she’s laughing.

May my daughter know that beauty is in living. 

And my strongest hope? 

May my daughter never even realize that society defines beauty by appearance.

Day 3

Day 3.

We look at eachother every day and say, "Well, aren't you beautiful." 

I think everyone should hear that at least once a day.

Day 2

Where to begin... Why did I volunteer myself to a make-up free, exercise-aholic, and loving myself kind of month? Well, because those three points sound incredible. Who doesn't want to eliminate the 10min of covering up true beauty each morning? Why would I not want to have extreme amounts of endorphins flowing through my body, making me feel like I can conquer the world? And most importantly, I think it's time I appreciate and love who I am!  In the name of loving who I am, I pledge to forgo the artificial and push my body (physically and mentally) to a point where when I wake up in the morning I can look in the mirror and say "you're one amazing chica!"
-Cora

Day 1

Day 1. 

Today we both admitted that our make up had tempted us. I was all-too-close to grabbing for my mascara before I left because "a coat wouldn't hurt." However, receiving the text from Cora that said, "no make up! Yay for loving us!" was completely worth it. 

Make up free and so happy.

The Challenge

I have to be honest with you all. I hate the way my nose gets red sometimes and how the veins on my eyelids become darker when I’m tired. I cover up my face because my skin tone can get uneven, and I coat the mascara because my eyelashes aren't thick, aren't long, and aren't perfect. I'm guilty of wishing that I was prettier.

However, something has really been eating away at me. Ever since I saw the Aerie lingerie campaign (go look at it, it’s pretty cool), I kept thinking about how fearless those people were by showing off their cellulite, stretch marks, and even tummy rolls… they embraced their flaws and looked, dare I say it, happy. Then came the moment I stared at a picture I’d posted (above) -- a moment of pure bliss -- and all I could see was the fact that I was wearing no make up... and wondered if people would notice the same thing. And that’s when I became disgusted. Hobey-ho, so here we go. Cora and I talked about this same thing and came up with a solution that may be temporary and certainly isn’t perfect, but it may just give us the right to take back the mirror. We’re calling it the Audrey Hepburn month, and it involves a lot of loving your all-natural, God-given, freaking-beautiful body. 30 days with no make up. We invite you to join us. Now, we understand that those who join us may not be able to go all-natural 24/7 --afterall, we are women who will stand beside you at the events that require lipstick and heels. That's really not what this is about. This is about taking back the mirror on the days that we don't have to get dressed up and, most importantly, feeling just as free and happy about it as we do when we slip into our pajamas. Our real faces should be our comfort zones.  

We know Audrey Hepburn wore make-up. We know that she rocked heels, pearls, and the all-too-fabulous dresses... But we also know that she was so much more than those things. This was deemed the Audrey Hepburn month because she represents a sense of empowerment and pride we are all searching to find.

Today we commit to loving our blemishes, our veins, our scrapes, and our shadows. We are real. We are painstakingly original, and that must be the most beautiful thing about us.