Four Letter Words

I had the worst day yesterday. One of those days where you'd be lucky if you had just woken up on the wrong side of the bed. And even the struggle bus is late picking you up. And then one person (or three) says the kiss of death: "You look tired." 

And I played into it. 

I put in my headphones, walked in the rain, and listened to "Bad Day" by Daniel Powter.
**cue dramatic movie scene**

I would have owned up to it: my mood was affecting exactly how I saw myself. At one point, I looked in the mirror and noticed the bags under my eyes, the flushed look I was sporting, and the veins that just kept getting darker, and the only word that came to my mind was "ugly." 

Ugly -- the same burning word I would use to describe snakes, rainy days, mean personalities, and horrific football blow-outs -- and I was using it to describe me? Ugly is a word I would never even use to describe another person, so in what universe was it ever okay to say to myself?? Goodness gracious, I should have had someone slap me on the spot. 

Unfortunately, my day yesterday was not that uncommon amongst, well, anyone. We're all guilty of unforgiving thoughts. And I wish I had the answers on how to not ever feel that way, or to combat it when you do. I don't. I am still figuring it out.

But I also feel like that's exactly why I'm doing this challenge. These 30 days aren't just beautiful moments strung together like The Sound of Music -- there are very real days and very real moments. 

The only lesson I can glean from yesterday's experience is that I need to start implementing a version of the Golden Rule: "Do unto myself as I would do unto others."

Day 9 and the day is looking promising. :)